Is there a way to enumerate touching objects rather than colliding objects? I.e., if the objects have settled, and I select one of those objects, is there any good way to determine what else is touching that object?

I've implemented an experimental solution by making the selected object move and detecting other collisions, but it's not a fool-proof solution, although it works most of the time.

Would this work for you:
http://developer.anscamobile.com/code/flashs-hittestobject-emulated-using-contentbounds